So, today found us playing at home against Caythorpe, a very strong club with links to Nottinghamshire county cricket club, and a history of spanking runs for fun in this Sunday league.
Ergo, when 11 suspiciously athletic and powerful looking young lads turned up at 130pm, and won the toss to bat first, I felt a rather ominous sensation. Especially when I found out their captain was a premier league batsman, one level below county cricket and 14 divisions above the level I normally play at.
As opening bowler, I'd have to have a bowl at him as well. Oh great.
Things went well, but only for one over. Unlike our Sunday skipper I'm not quick enough against good bats, and soon as he got his eye in he just started launching me all over the place. Ramp shots. Reverse sweeps. Meaty slogs.
To not concede a run was a moral victory for me. It's not as if the other bat wasn't really good as well, and equally capable of hitting me into the nettles. He just didn't do it as much.
It's called taking one for the team. My job in the side often means getting walloped by the big bats, so the younger lads don't. Doesn't bother me, I just love bowling.
But, despite fast scoring, we kept at it, and it did get better. Good bowling took wickets, good catching helped. I even took a catch myself, leading to ironic cheers from the home fans and demands as to where the real Simon was.
Though it could have been worse, 260 all out was still not a total we were likely to reach.
Still our experienced opener, and our much younger but highly motivated and determined wicket keeper actually batted for 20 overs against some very hostile bowling of a standard way above ours. After these two got out, it was a bit more of a struggle, but we did manage to bat forty overs for 171-9.
Odd incident where a bowler kicked over the stops and conceded 5 penalty runs. God, as if they weren't going to beat us!
I was out in the 40th over for 5, trying to slog so I could get to double figures. Just went straight up in the air. Got to stop trying to hit over the top.
Because frankly, I'm too shit to do it.
All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 26.05.19