Saturday, 1 June 2019

Torpedoed and Scuttled in Bramcote

Cricket took us out the pleasant surroundings or Bramcote Hills Park today, to play Bramcote's second team on a wicket we could tell before the match was going to be a sporty one, being green and grassy.

Of course, we arrived fairly late, and finding ourselves fielding first was hardly the ideal. Nor was I expecting to open the bowling, which I never do for the 3s but somehow found myself doing today; I certainly gave my skipper a quizzical look.

My main problem today wasn't the opposing batsmen like last Sunday; it was an umpire who had an interesting idea of what constituted a wide.

Any delivery that the batsman didn't hit.

To be fair he was like this for all of us, but being a left hander who bowls across the average right handed batsmen, my deliveries always look worse than they are because of the angle. I did get the captain caught at deep gulley, and after a weird over where I suddenly bowled three no balls on the trot out of nowhere, I made a minor technical adjustment and suddenly found myself bowling really fast by my standards. The ball was bouncing and being taken by the keeper head high, and there was lots of "ooing" and "ahhing" going on.

We were bowling well collectively, with other bowlers taking good wickets, but the umpire then displayed that he was hard of sight and hearing as well as wides, bless him - he was an older chap. However when one hard hitting Asian batsman nicked the cover off the ball twice without being given caught our, one of our own bowlers lost their rag a little bit and just stood there yelling at him. "OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT" before we dragged him away to apply forced sedation.

I certainly didn't do that when I had one of their openers stoned dead LBW early on.

Luckily the umpire seemed to get his sight and hearing back when we batted chasing 137 all out, giving lbws and caught behinds with stylish aplomb. None of us could bat for long enough bar our opener, and we struggled to support him, against decent bowling on that tricky green pitch.

I only lasted two balls myself, being torpedoed by a ball that spun sharply and skidded through at ankle height to bowl me.

The only good news on a personal level - I was gutted over my bowling and batting - was that I bowled 9 overs on a very hot day, while another bowler 20 years younger had to go off after 7. But then, he had taken three wickets!


All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 01.06.19


  1. Is that umpire still officiating? I encountered him in a village match in 1974 and he was ancient even then!
    I'm reminded of the story of Bill Alley, the Somerset batsman, who was told, when he was 49, that the county was not renewing his contract. "That's OK", said Bill, "my eyes are starting to go so I'll probably take up umpiring!" And he did, reaching Test Match level.

  2. I laughed at the white line going round the tree! What a lovely ground. Pity about the umpire.