Saturday 7 September 2019

The Sun Sets over the 2019 League Season

It hasn't really felt like enough of a season, alas. We have lost so many games to weather, or teams folding, that I don't feel like I have played enough cricket.

Many of my team mates would probably say that was a relief.

Today I was with an already relegated second team, when we went to play Chilwell 2s on a municipal park ground on the (very) far side of Nottingham. I was expecting the wicket to be a bit ropey, as these public park grounds usually are, but on first inspection it looked like it might be worse than that, a green strip of grassy pudding, tufted and scabby.

A sort of smallpox afflicted wicket.

Well, we ended up having first usage of it, while I took on my now usual umpiring role. The ball immediately started bouncing high, rolling along the ground, and moving yards off the seam, with "oohs" and "ahhs" from the opposition virtually every ball.

We lost one of our openers early, and then built a bit of a partnership, much to the frustration of the opposition who while being a bunch of very nice guys, were also rather eccentric. At first I thought the captain had a radio transmitter sticking out of his head; it turned out to be a feather he used for marking his run up and when he removed his cap he revealed a bright green 70s style towelling headband a rave Bjorn Borg might have worn. The wicket keeper tried to stump the batsman every ball and was wearing some sort of Hannibal Lecter mask, another player was clad in a flat cap.

The opening bowler was also having a hard time, shaving the stumps with several deliveries before a dropped catch caused him to lie on the floor screaming and banging the turn with his hands, before the fielder threw the ball back to him and nearly hit him on the head.

However, they were still getting us out; players got starts but every so often an unplayable ball would be produced that would get one of us out. Apart from me, I just made a total arse up of a delivery and was caught. For 0.

I them dropped several sandwiches on the floor at tea, as we pondered if we could defend 105.

We made a good start, but only our young opening bowler really bowled well as we reduced Chilwellto 26 for 3. But then the sun came out, and the wicket stopped misbehaving, when we could hit the bloody thing that is. I bowled 4 full tosses in two overs, more than I've bowled all year and I still don't know why. I just felt utterly crap.

My cricket seasons never end well, I think it's just my body running out of steam.

I did try to make a slip catch off our quickest bowler. I even dived. Never mind the fact ball was already twenty yards past me as I hit the ground like that whale from Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy.

We lost by 6 wickets in the end. Which mean we got home in time to see our first team making a hell of an effort to clinch promotion against Hickling after a bad start to their innings. Alas they fell short, but it clearly didn't affect their spirits as a massive shout of "Go on, get an erection!" rang out from a closed dressing room I was very glad I wasn't in.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 07.09.19









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