So, today we went rollicking off to play the Nottingham Tigers, myself driven by our new player, a mountaineering surfer, in his very smartly laid out van.
Nobody knew where the ground was, but it turned out to be Lambley's home ground, a municipal park with an uneven wicket and a large shed acting as a pavilion that somehow had a bar in it. £1 for a can of lager was very tempting, but sadly the fridges were all empty.
Somehow we had mustered 11 cricketers, and it was a nice day, so our skipper won the toss and smartly decided to bat.
I got to umpire while watching deliveries alternately fly at head height or scuttle along the ground. Our opening bat gloved one to the keeper, but it was a no ball. Oh dear. I got to do some other signals too, as anyone with Tourettes should do I enjoyed waving my arms around in dramatic fashion.
After my stint I took some photograph, tried to work out how much funny smoking was going on, and thought about whether I really wanted to bat on a wicket where the ball might put me in hospital again.
Well, I did, at 9, after most of our batsmen got starts but couldn't convert due to a big score due to the nature of the wicket. I, in my helmet, generally flapped at the ball but did manage to score a couple of decent boundaries before getting done by a quicker one I heaved at horribly and being bowled for 13 to leave us on 144.
We had a strong bowling attack today, so I was able to field for a bit and not worry about how awful I was yesterday as we had to brilliant openers who kept the Tigers to 36-3 for the first 16 overs. However, the problem was their very chatty captain Shakjat who I've seen wallop centuries in the past, and he was still in and the weaker bowler, ie myself, to throw his bat at.
Now I'm not as pacey as the younger lads, and I knew he was going to try and hit me for 6. I survived early on, castled his partner with a beautiful outswinger, and continued to bowl ok at the new left hander.
Unfortunately, despite me bowling flat out, that was as good as it got. When I next bowled at him he decided my natural in-swinging bowling was perfect for him to smash me into the trees 3 times.
That made me feel very average, especially as I then dropped a difficult catch.
The new bowlers were better than me, but he was still able to knock the ball around, and they ended up winning by 4 wickets. I was left to reflect on how I'm just not quite good enough to bowl to bats like that.
All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 07.07.19