Village Shenanigans Against Calverton

 Another home match, this time for the Sunday friendly side against Calverton.

This was one of our friendly matches that I had organised, so there was no relaxed preamble for me - I had to help get things set up, and meet and greet the opposition.

Calverton were a good bunch of mainly young lads from their second team, with an Australian captain from the first team who we all assumed would be as good as Steve Smith, and wouldn't take his foot off the gas for a second. Sandpaper optional. 

One of our ground staff very kindly came down to properly prepare the wicket that had been such a bad track on Saturday, and it actually played pretty well today although the odd ball was still misbehaving as I was to find out later. The captain and I thought it would be best to bat first, but of course he lost the toss and they took first use of the track. 

It had been pretty clear from the start of the day that this was going to be a tough match as Calcerton took their youngsters through a pre-match fitness and skills routine, while our players sat around on benches eating and smoking. This was soon borne out, as they got off to a flying start helped by my inability these days to try and catch anything hit really hard. The heart says yes, but the brain says no, and self preservation takes over.

Cortex prevents catching. 

The openers were a contrasting pair - a lad about the size of the stumps but with the seeming power of Ben Stokes, and a big unit in spectacles who hit me for 6 first ball when I came on to bowl, then 4 before retiring on 50. Lucky me. 

For a change I actually bowled ok with a bit more snap than recently, but there was no swing for me. I took a wicket with another bad ball, but there was some good stuff. Alas I strayed onto leg stump once or twice an over and would immediately get hit for 4 - the wicket maiden I bowled was an aberration, evidently. At least I didn't bowl any no-balls. 

Other guys bowled about the same as me but others bowled better so it wasn't a total massacre in the field. They put up 198 for 4 in 35 overs, and we did manage to keep the Aussie skipper pacing the sidelines in his pads which felt like a tactical victory at the time. One guy waiting to bat had decided to take his kit off during the final over, and ended up having to come in to face the last ball just holding a bat with no pads on or anything.

He still hit it for 4 though. 

Our batting got off to a sticky start and within 5 overs we were 9 for 2 with numbers 2 and 3 having both scored ducks. Our opening bat and the 3rd time vice captain were then able to put on a good partnership having to withstand from very good bowling in the process. When he got to 50, the Calverton scorer thought he should retire "because that's what we do".

"Well that's very nice" we said, and told him to go on and make a hundred. Sadly he didn't, but the reality is we were light on batting and figured that once he'd gone, we'd struggle like anything against their bowlers. 

In the middle of all this, the Aussie captain decided to attempt a run out, missed the stumps by miles and succeeded only in smashing one of his own fielders on his upper cheekbone with the ball. There was then a pause as first aid kits were hunted for and instant ice was found.

Science is such a wonderful thing!

Anyway, he went off for a check up and what I'm sure will be a huge black eye as I write this. In the meantime our lower middle order were dropping like flies. I had to go in and face a hat-trick ball from the big opening bat, who turned out to be quite a rapid bowler as well. I kept the first ball out, at which point the fielder at extra cover decided to try and run me out but only managed to hit me in the chest with the ball. 

Second ball I kept out too, but the third was short, jagged back and kept low to remove my leg stump, at which point the bowler ran down the wicket bellowing like King Kong and leading me to think he was going to try and eat my head. He was rather pleased with his triple wicket maiden. 

It was all over after that, a heavy but not dispiriting defeat to a fine young side. 

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 09.05.22

Cricket in the Rookery

I've been fretting all week about how the weather was going to be for the cricketing this weekend, and indeed, it did look very grim at one point today.

That was about 8 overs into to our batting against Calverton at the their ground I believe is called The Rookery, a very attractive if awfully slopey ground up the hill from the village, where the horses live in danger of being smacked on the fetlock by a big hit.

I started off umpiring at both ends, thanks to the Calverton player who said I was a very good and fair umpire, and watched our good early batting while doing my arms waving and sounding officious shtick. I also watched as very dark and grey clouds began to block out the sun and hem us in like Dracula's cloak. Sure enough, after those 8 overs, it turned black overhead and it absolutely hammered down on us and we ran off like the proverbial drowned rats.

But local knowledge from the very friendly opponents meant that we were able to get back on after only 20 minutes, while so many other clubs had to abandon their games when that torrential downpour came.

It was very squelchy underfoot, and the bowler sounded like the Creature from the Black Lagoon as he ran in behind me but we GOT THE GAME ON as the slogan goes. We batted for the full 40 overs for only 3 down, and everyone who batted scored good runs, and yes the horses were bothered by some big hits, but none got their manes dented. I umpired for 20 overs, both ends, which I've never done before.

I believe I therefore be what is known as a Good Clubman.

We got to 161, had a good tea, and then it was time to bowl. I was told that I was opening the bowling this week, which was good of the skipper, and myself and my much more accurate opening partner started well. He got one opener, and I got the other with a beautiful yorker after he had smacked me for 4.

Sadly, for me that was as good as it got, as their number three bat, after a shakey start where I beat him a few times, decided he liked the look of my bowling and took me for 15 in one over. It wasn't even bad bowling, just gave him a fraction enough width for him to free his arms and disappear the ball into a bramble bush while the flying swallows admired him.

He went on to score 98 without really any problems at all, although our other bowlers were a bit better at restricting him than I was. Won them the game, as they took the victory by 8 wickets in 30 overs. I ran around like mad in the field and made no mistakes, but my weirdly crappy throw was noted, and twos were taken to me, which was annoying.

We did take points out of the game, and as Calverton are near the top of the league and we are near the bottom, this is still a decent result for us. And it was an enjoyable day.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 20.07.19

The Demon Batsman...or Not

Off with the second team to play Calverton 2nds today, at what turned out to be a lovely ground up a track like a testing ground for tanks. Was feeling slightly woozy when I finally got out of the car, nothing to do with the large glass of Pimms I had late last night, no not at all.

We fielded first, although at times I'm not sure that what I was doing was fielding, I was really angry to let a couple of howlers through for 4 - no matter how hard I try I still have some clumsy moments out there. I had some good ones too, but no-one remembers them when you look like a new born giraffe and field like a man with no hands at times.

Having said that, I was not the only one, seeing as Calverton ran up 297-1 in 45 overs. Batting was just too good. And the bowling, in my case, rubbish. I came on for the last three and the batsman, on 125 not out and 92 not out at the time, smashed me all over the place. I was trying to bowl full and straight, and although I got the straight bit right, I bowled too full and ended up watching the ball sail over my head. A lot. And between fielders legs too, which frankly I am in no position to criticise.

Anyway, I ate an excellent tea, the chicken sandwiches were mighty in their meat and mayo content.

Batting at number 11, I thought that was my day done, and although we batted very well too, with some fantastic hitting going on, and a brilliant 50 too by one of our batsmen. But we need someone to score a century for us to win really, even though we were up with the run rate.

So I went in last, to face a young bowler, and promptly hit my first over for 14. God knows how, I have a cheap bat and have barely middled the ball all year. A bit later I nearly hit their spinner over the fence for 6. I hit 5 boundaries in all for 25 not out, although the Calverton scorers got my bloody score wrong and gave some of my runs to my batting partner. Easy enough to do, as he is 25 years younger than me, shorter and a lot slimmer, and was wearing a blue helmet while I was wearing a white cap.

So there the league season ends. Crazy though it can sometimes get, it does my mental health good; it means I focus on cricket exclusively for 7 hours and thus my tics diminish. It helps me to socialise "normally" which doesn't often happen for Mr Aspergers here. It gives my weekends a focus.

I shall miss it.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 01.09.18