The Narrow Way

I've often wondered if it would be a good idea to try to buy a narrowboat to live on.

Today, when you see a pair of them cruising serenely down to the lock, happy groups of people at the wheel of them, it seems like the most idyllic thing in the world. Your home is also a mode of transport. You get to see some of the prettiest sights in the country.

Then on the flip side, there is the maintenance, the fact you still have to pay for mooring, the cold in winter, and all the fun of having to use a Thetford type toilet, or the rather terrifying sounding "mactator" lavatory.

I'm hopeless with my hands, would probably crash the thing if I sailed anywhere, and the idea of having to empty toilets is so gross to me I could probably never do it.

But still, the dream is there.

Si

Nuada the Knocker

So, it's been a day of double pain, with my lower back still painful from the spasm, and the intimate male area still sore as well. Getting out of bed was a real struggle, and while I'm ok when I'm walking, sitting down and standing up and requires a block and tackle to successfully achieve.

But, it has been a nice day to wander around the river and photograph the sights on the river; plenty of traffic now that summer is here and the dry dock is busy working on the various working tugs and dredgers that keep the river navigable.

Wonder how you get a job driving one?

So, I met my sister in town in the afternoon and we had a look on the bric a brac stalls on the market, much loved by the  local steampunks. My sister spotted a lovely Celtic looking door knocker, which to me looks like some sort of representation of the Celtic sun god Nuada.

Nuada is the god that Christopher Lee sacrificed Edward Woodward to in the film "The Wicker Man". Should have bought the knocker to make unwelcome visitors to my new flat fear the same fate!

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 17.06.19

Messing About on the Water

I've always loved the idea of living in a narrowboat.

It just seems the right sort of environment for a nature loving writer to live in, painting a picture of properly bohemian - NOTE NOT "BOHO" - living with a tin cup of hot tea on the go, sailing from pretty riverside pub to pretty riverside pub, having adventures and then tying up in a city marina when you want a spot of more exciting living.

They are far cheaper than house. I'm looking at a lovely little dinky 32 foot narrowboat for £23,000, which is less than the cost of a deposit in many parts of the UK. A lot less, in the South. Scoot it along the water, plug it in to services, put some flower pots on the roof, and you're ready to rock...

...Once you've installed the essential crudely lashed on rickety TV aerial. Which all barges seem to have by law round here.

Alas, it's not as simple as that. Now it's caught on, mooring costs are rocketing up and restrictions increasing, someone as klutzy as me should not be out in charge on anything with an engine, the fear of late night break in by drunken thugs from those riverside pubs, cost of regular maintenance. The fact that at 6 foot 1 I'll probably end up looking like Mr Bump.

Then there is the toilet. It's all getting a bit Alan Partridge and his Dundee cake now. Toilets are fine in themselves, but for Mr OCD extreme, having to do all the, ahem, emptying like a 1970s IRA prisoner is a bit distasteful to say the least.

The Thetford Cassette toilet? What on earth could that be? I don't see an old fashioned C90 being all that absorbent. And as for what I see referred to as a "Mactator toilet", this creates a frankly terrifying image of some kind of satanic chewing maw taking place mere inches below your nether regions.

I don't want all that going on every time I wish to visit the little boys room!!!

So, maybe, the idea of a life on the water should just be regarded as an idle fantasy. But when you see all the lovely boats around here, it does make you wonder.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 26.09.15

Canary yellow

Yuppies at sea

Merlot aboard the Merlot sounds a nice idea

A Dutch barge

A baby barge

Rickety cruiser for sale

Steptoe and Son at sea

An Evening Cycle to Farndon Ferry

I've been cooped up at work. I haven't been able to run thanks to the mass of groin and abdominal strains cricket has blessed upon me. I feel tubby, chubby and generally lumpy. So even after my shift, I had to get out.

I cycled on a fine, if slightly cloudy evening, 12km via Hawton and Farndon, where swallows flew and fly grazers were this time nailing their horses to the sweet grass beside the A46 flyover between the two villages.

The ferry was busy with dog walkers, drinkers, and even water-skiiers on the distant silvery river. The power station did power things between the wind and water. All seemed pretty fair and good with the world.

Si

The Crusader. Pleasure boat for aged and disabled

Tosh at anchor. Or is it Tash? Hmmmm.

Dutch barge across the river

A mixed bouquet

Comfrey beginning to open

Common carder bumble hides in the nettles

Mighty horse chestnut