Under a Collingham Cosh

 Saturday saw our third team playing at Upton once again, this time against Collingham's third team complete with the familiar figure of my stepfather's next door neighbour who it has taken me several years to get to play against.

Against expectation the weather was good, and the ground looked immaculate. I was thrilled to see not just one red kite, but a pair, who appeared before the game and graced us with their presence at various times throughout the afternoon.

"Can you eat them?" asked our resident geographer, unimpressed. 

There were kestrels and loudly keening buzzards around too, although the question of their culinary status never arose. I'm glad other players did turn out to share my interest in nature. Well, one did, anyway.

As is customary it seems, we bowled first in a 36 over game, and Collingham's senior bats, one of whom was the first profoundly deaf player I have played in a match with, made a fast start and it took a while for our captain and the Keele captain to find their rhythm and start taking a few wickets, at which point we dragged ourselves back into the game. Our young opening bowler, after having been clattered a bit in his opening spell, came back well later to take three wickets.

The captain noted "If I don't give you a bowl you will be moaning about me in your blog", so I did get three overs at the end. It went ok-ish, as I tried to bowl of a straight approach to avoid dragging the ball down, but for some reason I bowled my first no ball in ages and so a catch off me didn't count. One bad ball got flogged for four by a young bat, who in truth we hadn't bowled well at, and Collingham closed on 159-9. 

We had a bit of a makeshift side, so that looked probably a few too many forus to get, and it quickly became clear that Collingham's bowlers were going to be far more accurate than us on a wicket where it was hard to score. We lost the geographer and his son early as the aforementioned next door neighbour nabbed a couple of wickets with his left hand medium pace loopy stuff. The other opener stood form, but scoring was very difficult, especially when a young speedster came on and ripped through our middle order.

The captain was the only bat who could really handle him, and he used the extra pace to show us some classical front foot driving, but alas he couldn't stay in.

Back in my usual number 11 spot, or rather 10 as we only had 10 players, I went in with the game well and truly gone, nervous as hell after four consecutive ducks - they should call me Audi, like they did Alan Mullaly back in the day - but reasured by the Upton captain, who just told me to relax and do what I could.

I managed to score one run, but that was it, as my partner was out shortly after. 

All in all, a pretty heavy thrashing, but it was a really enjoyable game and I didn't mind too much. I thought, stupidly, that Sunday would go better...

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 03.07.24

All flattering references to the captain are there to ensure he might let me bowl again one day