I Do Best when I Do Nothing at All

 A home game today against Keyworth 3s, a team with whom we have had many good matches over the years, matches in which I've done well in - I took my first 5 wicket haul in a game against them a few years ago. 

I must confess, I didn't really want to play the match. My body being what it is these days, I'm not really able to play two games in a weekend. My left ankle really doesn't like it. However, the Captain asked me to play as they had three drop outs, so I said I would, wincing as I did so. A couple of other semi retired players also carrying injuries had also been press ganged into service.

It was worth it to get the game on, however, as we had a father and son combo playing today, the youngster in his first ever senior match. We had a cap presentation "ceremony" before the game, taking place in the shadow of two gazebos wobbling alarmingly in the breeze.

After the usual "scouring the ground for pebbles to use as counters" preamble, I sacrificed myself to open up the square-leg umpiring as we batted first, which gave me a good view of how the wicket was playing, which the ground staff had not had enough time to properly prepare because of the usual flooding and rain.

Despite their hard work, it was evident very quickly that it was going to be tricky, to say the least. One ball would pop up chest high like a tennis ball, another would roll along the ground like a bowling ball trying to wipe out the batter's ankles. Keyworth's young bowlers caused problems, and reduced us to 13 for 2.

Our numbers 3 and 4 then put on an excellent partnership about 80, so I was able to have a walk round the ground after my umpiring stint. When the sun was out, it was a lovely day, and brimstones, orange tips, speckled woods and small tortoiseshells patrolled the hedgerow margins, avoiding the occasional hazard of a cricketer with a weak bladder looking for a secluded spot. The keening buzzards were back, an oystercatcher "peeped" its way over the ground, and a more mechanical life form also flew over - a spitfire!

After the skipper hit a 6 into the adjoining field, I then did what I accurately predicted would be my most important contribution to the day when I found the ball for the first time ever in such a hunt. However, after these two went, scoring then seemed to become almost impossible on the wicket, and we only added another 30 or so more in the last ten overs.

I was hoping to get a bat, not that I would have done any better. But I was padded up on the sidelines for half an hour and I wasn't needed.

I wasn't needed to bowl either, although I was wondering if the game had gone on further I might have been called up to bowl a couple to try and get a breakthrough. Instead I fielded energetically enough again without actually having to do a lot, other than a big dive to fail to stop the ball. 

"At least I'm trying" I thought at the time. At least by not doing a lot I could mess anything really up.

Our bowlers turned out to be a little bit much for Keyworth on that wicket. One of our youngesters took his first wicket early on in an excellent spell of off spin. Then our debutant son went on later and took an amazing wicket with his first ever ball in senior cricket, which caused much understandable joy on his father's fizzog. And our's too.

He took two more in a brilliant spell, and it was left to the skipper to finish the game when the last Keyworth batter came in, who was barely the height of the stumps. He tried to game him a wide one first up, which he chipped straight to cover, upon which he (the batter, not our captain) burst into tears. We had bowled them out for 56. 

It's a cruel and heartless game sometimes.